Chaos
It was not a good night last night...
5 shots rang out and scared me to the point I slept 1 hr from 5 to 6 am..
The police were all over but it was a drive past shooting again so of course no one is arrested. They are either trying to scare or shoot the local on this street that sells drugs, but bullets don't have names on them.
I'm more than scared and have no place I can go to each night and come here during the day to take care of the cats and continue packing for my move... I also have no real idea where I can go. I just know I'd give anything to have someone staying here with me while I get this done. I may well need someone to drive a UHaul to Florida for me..I would, of course pay to fly them home again.. problem is.. finding someone.
Let me tell you.. alone is not a good thing when you need reassurance and need help getting things done so I can get out of here before I get shot. or worse: killed. Funny thing is, that if a stray bullet came thru the house and killed me, no one would know for at least a week when the relatives inheriting this house call to see if I need to go food shopping.
I will try to leave a blog message before I pack up the computer but, if things get really hectic I won't be able to, but I will try to get on someone's computer just to leave a message so no one thinks I have been shot.
So much needs to be done.. more packing.. then putting it in a UHaul.. finding a driver that would put up with me all the way to Florida (I don't really want to go there but it's the only place I know a few people I could call on for an emergency if I lived there) All the address changes..how does one do that when I don't know where I"ll be? I mean, maybe I can stay with someone for a few weeks but then change the address again on everything????
And with all this going on I find myself crying over the fact that I don't know if I can stay here for 3 more weeks and I want so badly to say goodbye to my artist friends Roger Kastel and Ken Kelly and to see Walter Koenig one more time.. that's April 18th.. Stupid to let that upset me but I have felt for weeks now the need to say goodbye to them, have my cry and get it over with, and have one last day of enjoyment, because I know I won't be able to afford to do shows once I leave here. Heck.. my book buying will be close to non existent once I move!! (somehow I will still get books to series that haven't come out yet.. not sure how.. but I will , come hell or high water!)
I know I'm babbling again from nerves.. so I'll shut up now.
posted by DesLily | 11:18 AM
27 Comments:
I'll happily send you books from series you haven't finished, Pat. And please don't think I'm saying this out of pity, because I'm not. It's out of friendship. Stay safe and take care, okay? We'll all be thinking of you.
nymeth: thank you for the offer.. I will have to cut back drastically in my buying books once I move but there's maybe only a half dozen books a year attached to series so I should be able to do that! lol.
I think you should stay for the con if you can!
Where in FL are you going to? Can you use your Son's address as a temporary one? Or, if you know where you are going you could get a post office box....
Here's hoping at least you settle near a library, where you can occasionally access the Internet and where you can get plenty of good reading material.
*many, many hugs* I'll be sending good thoughts your way.
How strange - I'm thrilled to hear you're getting out of there but I am sorry that things have to be so chaotic while you're doing so.
Do you know where you're goingin Florida? I mean, the area. If you do, try doing some research on line to see what resources are available there for senior citizens. I tend to believe there will be a ton. Maybe you can get a better idea what's waiting for you that way.
cjh
Oh Pat - take care - please let us know when you can, as often as you can, where you are, and how you are. You know we'll be thinking of you, hoping you end up somewhere much safer for you. With your books, and cats. Fingers crossed you get to see Walter Koenig and your friends first too, if it's safe enough for you.
astaryth: not sure yet where i will wind up.. looking everywhere from Vero to stuart and some around my son in Lauderdale... but nothing for sure yet. I don't know day to day when i can leave here I am really scared alone here.REALLY SCARED. but much to be done yet too...I just don't want to die over it all
Thanks Donna..just kinda want it all over ya know?
thank you libritouches. I don't mean tobe so dramatic but it's how I feel... too old for sitting up all night on the floor shaking.
cj. I lived in Fla for 13 yrs so I know one area where I am checking and my son lives in the other area.
Susan: oh I will !!
Like Nymeth said, I too am happy to send you books, Pat. And at least if you move to Florida you shouldn't have this shooting nightmare to put up with. It's like something out of the wild west! I hope you manage to find someone to drive you too. Fingers crossed for that. Been out of commission for a couple of days with my daughter having a gas leak and then sick, but will try to catch you tomorrow on AIM.
Cath: maybe i'll get lucky and be near a library, who knows?..
Gas leak? that doesn't sound good. I hope all is ok now.. talk to you tomorrow..
More gunshots?! That's horrible. I wish they'd catch the assholes who are doing that. It amazes me how little of a conscience some people have that they could just do that.
I can only imagine how stressed you must be about the move. And I don't think it's stupid at all that you want to say goodbye to your artist friends. Those things are important. I hope things go as smoothly as possible. And how cool would that be if you really did end up next to a library like you told Cath! And I'd be happy to send you books too :D
Gunshots!!!! I am so glad you are leaving that place - getting somewhere safer. I know the change will be hard (it always is) but the way the neighborhood is turning, sounds like you are headed toward a better place.
what is becoming of our country -- that people shoot randomly thru neighborhoods like that.
Just so wrong.
You are most definitely not being melodramatic! I don't know anyone who wouldn't be shaken up in a situation like this.
My goodness! Oh I'm going to be so worried about you! What part of Florida are you going to be living in? If it's not too far and if I can talk hubby into it (I don't drive, cars scare me) I'd love to come visit you once you get here or vice versa. I live at the very bottom of Missisppi about an hour from all the bordering states.
Take care of yourself and give the cats lots of cuddles. Maybe you can get everything forwarded to a relative or friend until you have settled somewhere more permanent. Things always happen for a reason and I am sure you are on to bigger and better things, you just can't see them yet...
Chris: I'm afraid I am near my breaking point and more afraid what might happen if I do "break".. after what little sleep I get I wake feeling sick to my stomach each morning. then I find myself wondering if I will make it without a mental breakdown.. i am scared. no doubt about it.
karmyn: I wish I could leave "now"! I keep thinking if I had someone here with me and to help me for maybe just a week things would be a whole lot better and under control..of course thats not going to happen.
Pam: "Drugs, they are worth dieing for or shooting others for"
libritouches: I do know I over react alot but can't help it, but I "do feel" that way it's because I can't come up with the answers..
Tink: not sure most likely it will be either around Vero beach area or more south by lauderdale. I'll let you all know when I know.
Thanks Rinoa: I hope so and hope it happens soon
THank you everyone..
Pat I am keeping you in my prayers for your safety and that you can find a good place to live. Maybe somewhere near your son so he can keep an eye out for you. I hope you will be able to visit with your friends before you leave. Keep in touch with us when you can. Hugs and love, Helen
I pray you will stay safe Paqt...I understand this being alone with no help at all...It's too bad one of your sons or another relative cannot come and help you for a few days, and The Drive of The U-Haul....
As to your Mail...Maybe you should have it sent to your sons home for now, or to a P.O. Box in the area you think you will be in....You have no doubt thought of ALL these things yourself, but just in case....I hate that you feel so unsafe there....Breath Deeply, My Dear....! And keep on "keeping on". I know you will make it.
I'm glad you so enjoyed my "Ladies Who Lunch"...we DO have a wonderful time and it is definitely based on years and years of great great friendships....I so wish you had some friends like that, dear Pat.
Well I am really glad to hear that you are getting out of that place! I'm sorry things are so stressful right now. That really stinks.
Hold on and trust that things will start looking up. And don't forget all of your blogging friends who care about you!
Hi Pat.. I wish you a safe trip and hope you say your goodbyes. *hugs*
Oh sweetie, you are so NOT stupid to let things like possibly not getting a chance to say goodbye to friends upset you. Of course, it upsets you. You are under so much stress, and my heart is simply aching for you. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if I would be holding up as well as you are in your situation. I guess we all find out how strong we are when we're forced to. And I know you feel like you're falling apart, but Pat, give yourself some credit. A lot of credit. You're moving forward and doing what you need to do.
I wish so much I could help with the U-Haul thing, but I just don't know of anyone. The book situation, on the other hand...don't spend a second worrying about getting your hands on books, okay? You may just end up with more books than you know what to do with...you've got a lot of friends out here!
Helen: of course I will try to keep in touch with everyone !
Thanks Naomi: and yes, I love your ladies who lunch!! I love seeing everyone so happy and smiling. And you do so wonderful with your theme's for the parties!
Kim: yes it's good to get away from this area.. I will be glad to at least try to sleep again!
Thank you very much Claire
Debi: I think seeing my artist "buddies" and saying goodbye is traumatic to me because, as it is for most.. I never got to say goodbye to David or my brother really..even though we knew my brother probably would not make it..couldn't say goodbye.. would have meant no hope. Anyway, I think my deep feelings about the goodby comes from that. I cry just thinking of it.. I feel torn to pieces.. scared to stay here a day longer than I have to.. and scared I won't have the chance to say goodbye.. the old "rock and a hard place".
I'm so sorry you are having to go through all this. Even more so because of the bad turn your neighborhood has taken recently. I'd love to see you be able to go to that con and say goodbye to your friends. Forgive me for being confused, but are you going to be able to do that or is it definitely out? You certainly don't need to feel bad about 'babbling'. It isn't that anyway, just sharing the way you feel with those who care about you.
I am so glad you are leaving that place. Everything happens for a reason, and your new life will find you safe and sound soon !
Saying goodbye is never an easy thing. But, for every goodbye,
there is a "hello" right around
the corner :-)
carl: we emailed.
Daniel: thanks Daniel.. i will be glad when it's all over and settled
I'm so sorry you've had to go through such a terrifying ordeal, and I wish you well with your move. I know that goodbyes are particularly hard when they happen for reasons you don't choose! I'll be thinking of you.
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