Lately

I know that I haven’t been around much lately.  It’s mostly called anxiety and stress. Yet another word for it is fear.

All that and then my computer died.  I mean like reeeeally died.   For a number of years I have relied on Pete.   Pete is my oldest son’s very good friend. He was even Best Man at my son’s wedding.  Pete has graciously allowed me to call him in panic times with my computer even when I lived back in New Jersey.  So it came as no shock to him when I called and said that I had the blue screen of death.

Circumstances were such that he dropped what he was doing and came to my home.  

He began trying to fix my computer.  Which in the long run he could do except that once parts begin to go..the rest follows.  And so while xp was loading on the tower we went to Best Buy and I wound up buying a Dell 23 inch touch screen all in one.  (days later when I found my paperwork for my old computer I found I paid less than half for this one than I did for my old computer!) 

I think most of why i went ahead and charged the new computer was because, since it was windows 7 (yuck) I thought it would help keep my mind off of the anxiety and stress stuff.  Unfortunately, I can’t say it’s done that.  And I am still learning my way around windows 7.  Can’t say I like the changes to my programs..even this Live Writer I use to do my blog posts now does not give me the option to bring in pictures from the web.  I don’t want to use them from my computer for the reason which just happened ..if the computer crashes the pictures go bye bye.   I am not even sure I  am doing the pictures so they will stay.  

yup, I know I am old.  I know i hate changes.  and I will say, the older i get the harder it is to relearn things.  It’s always been easier to learn “new” then to relearn a different way.

So now I have the new computer… getting around much slower than before.. but the anxiety and stress are still huge.  And so my reading has darn  near bit the dust.  I am lucky it I read 10 pages a day.   My camera is hardly picked up these days.  It seems no interest can conquer my problems at the moment.

Anyway… here I tried using the camera (of course had to learn how to put them on the new computer which upsets me more)  and then having trouble with live writer not showing me a way to get the photo’s here *from the web* and not my computer.  But I did it somehow, don’t even know if I will remember how to do it again..  You’d think I’d feel good about somehow managing to do it ..but I don’t.

I hope you can bear with me, i want things the way they were..just don’t know if my head will get back there.

Below is Pete.  Without him I’d have fallen to pieces .  I will never be able to thank him enough…. never.