I need more stress..
2:30 am ...
Bang!
Bang!
Bang!
Bang!
..then the squealing of rubber as a car speeds off.
yes... gunshots two houses down from me. This is the house where "our local drug dealer" keeps whatever it is he sells.
My neighbor, the lady between me and the vacant house is alone in the house with two small girls. She said when she looked (after the car drove off) she eventually saw our "local dealer". So we both guess someone no longer likes him .
But it still doesn't help what little sleep I've been getting.. now I will get less I"m sure, and more nap 20 minutes at a time instead of getting the one 3 hr. sleep each night I've been getting since David died.
I rechecked all the window locks and found two that although they were "locked" the window still opened.. I fixed that! Also found the key to the deadbolt back door lock.. there are two doors front and back because of small closed in porches. The back door, unfortunately is nearly all glass.. not a safety factor! But now I do have both deadbolts keyed and locked.
Of course one thing I do know is that bullets don't come with names on them, so when/ if I hear them, I DO NOT get curious and look out the window! This is the first time there's been gunfire around here.. I hope it's the last.
What you just read I wrote the night before last. Last night there were no shots. I can say this because last night I barely slept. I was wide awake until midnight. Turned off the TV and tried to sleep. I remember seeing the clock at 2:30, then I know I slept some but woke maybe 3 times and it was then 4:30. My stomach is of course feeling like it's sick. I am very tired.
I was remembering things. When I was in my late 40's early 50's I would talk to my mother on the phone. It had seemed to me that all she talked about was who had cancer and who died. It made me depressed to talk to her lots of times. And now here I am.. now I know it was because it is what happens in your life when you grow old.
.. and today's lesson is: when you hear gunfire, it's normal to be afraid...
posted by DesLily | 5:01 AM
19 Comments:
Yes, It is ok to be afraid, and very wise also. I hope the spring will bring brighter days for you Pat.
That's a little scary. And people wonder about me living out in the country. No, I don't have neighbors in case something happens... But, I also don't have neighbors to -worry- about doing something!
Hubs and I were talking just the other day about how much more we talk about our health and others health than we used to. However, I did remind him that the most of the talk has been about his sinuses, and not 'old age' stuff. He's on his second kind of antibiotic for this sinus infection he's had and it hasn't worked either... next step is a specialist and possibly surgery Sigh!
Yes, very normal. I'm so sorry, Pat! Definitely NOT what you needed.
anime: i just hope for no repeats.
JJ: neighbors are good when you are alone and need help.. this was all at a vacant house.. better hug Geoff a little harder just for being there!
Debi: nope. i keep waiting for my body to "cave in " and "make me sleep!" argh.
Wow, that would be scary! Not something that I have ever had to deal with...
God, Pat, you give me nightmares telling me about your area. This is just horrendous! You take care for goodness sake!
Yep, the older you get the more health issues raise their ugly heads. We used to groan as kids when the adults started but it's shocking how quickly you arrive at that stage yourself.
Pat ... this is tough to read. You've reached an age and earned the right to sleep well at night ... and yet, somehow, that been taken from you.
You're smart to find the key and check the window locks. Outside flood lights on motion detection help deter criminals too. Perhaps your nephew would be willing to install a couple on the areas of the house where dark is most prevalent.
Wow :( I'd have been very scared too. Please stay safe!
kelly: I hope you never do.
Cath: all part of the "area" getting worse because of the economy.. more drugs more money needed to buy drugs, more robberies and breakins etc... it all gets worse as the economy gets worse.. as bad as it is there was never shooting here in 9 yrs..
Kathy: funny.. i thought I was at an age where life (not health) should be easier too..
nymeth: I'm trying..
I am sorry that you are being kept awake and scared like that Pat. Glad that you got those windows fixed and fixed the safety locks on your doors. I hope you don't have any more shooting around there. Hugs, Helen
Thank goodness you checked your windows, and your deadlock. I hope you start feeling safe again. Our neighborhood is mixed good and bad. We've been robbed (my fault, I left the back door window up so they cut through the screen) once, had a gang fight in the yard - thankfully young teenagers so without thinking, I ran out and yelled at them to stop, and they ran off. Other than that, so far it's been a good place to live. It takes time to settle after every event, though!
I was in a robbery about 15 years ago, in a small neighborhood corner store (in another part of Ottawa). I came face to face with the robber and thought I was going to die because he had his gun out. thankfully he didn't fire at me. It took me a long time to stop dreaming of guns, though.
So do all you can to help yourself feel comforted and safe, Pat. Keep taking care of yourself too!
Helen: well I fixed them all but slept very little last night anyway.
Susan: I had a house break-in when I was married and living in fla. the police said it was kids, they ramsacked the house.. i felt violated and scared for a long time if I had to walk into the house alone.
Also was at a red light (one car in front of me) when someone ran up to a motorcycle and pulled the man off and tried to take it, must have hit the hill switch because then he got up and was walking between my car and the one in front of me looking right at me, he had a gun in his hand but his hand was down.. i was staring at his hand, had it moved I was going to crush his legs between the cars.. then the police want after the two of them by a gas station.. they fired the gun until all bullets were gone.. the idiot in front of me kept looking over his shoulder instead of getting the hell out of there and I was stuck! Couldn't believe he wanted to watch! Like the bullets wouldn't dare hit him! yeah.. right!
Oh, wow, that is so scary. I think you're doing the right thing, checking the doors and windows. There's only so much you can do to protect yourself apart from moving. Sending safe thoughts.
Oh lord! I'm glad to hear that you're ok and that you're keeping the house locked up really well. I know how terrifying that is. I was over at Megan's one nigh and in the middle of the night we started hearing gunshots! They were right across the street from her apartment and it was terrifying. First time that had ever happened to me. Hope you can sleep better tonight Pat!
bookfool & Chris: not sure it feels so great being "locked in" either!
Please stay safe! That is scary stuff. That is just horrid that those kinds of things are going on in your neighborhood.
That's certainly not what you need right now! (((hugs)))
I wish you had someone close by who could either come stay with you so you could sleep... or you could go to his or her house.
::??
Kim: it will only get worse with the loss of jobs ..those "buying" will do more trying to get their hands on money to buy the drugs.
Tink: Where's James Cagney when ya need him?!
Pam: boy I wish I knew someone to stay here for a while with me! The reason I don't take something to help me sleep is that I am afraid that if someone tries to break in I won't wake in time to call police or get away somehow.
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