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Location: Vero Beach, Florida, United States

My name is Pat and I live in Florida. My skin will never be smooth again and my hair will never see color. I enjoy collecting autographs and playing in Paint Shop Pro.,along with reading and writing. Sometimes, I enjoy myself by doing volunteer "work" helping celebrities at autograph shows. I love animals and at one time I did volunteer work for Tippi Hedren's Shambala Preserve.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Writer's weekly question...

Thursday, October 13, 20057:47:00 PM EDT
Feeling Quiet

Writer's Weekly QuestionWritten by aurielalata
Writer’s Weekly Question #2: Why do you write? Is it because you want attention, or is there some other reason you are driven to do this? What draws you to this craft?

Wow, I found this question very interesting.. and the answers as well. Though I do not consider myself a writer by any means, (graduated High School, then became a wife and stay at home mother for 26 yrs before finding myself divorced and alone with no special training for the “job force”) So I’m not an intellect, I’m not even very smart. I like to think I have common sense, but that’s about it.

Due to a variety of circumstance, after a certain age, it’s no long easy to find work that will pay the bills when you haven’t had a lifetime of training for anything in particular. And so I found myself on my brother’s doorstep because I had nowhere to go and no money to get there. I thought I had found a haven to get back on my feet. That was a wrong assumption, as 4 weeks after I arrived at the home of my brother and his “better half”; he had a heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery.. this on top of a stroke he had 15 yrs earlier leaving him paralyzed on his right side (he was right handed). Along with diabetes and high blood pressure, my “haven” became a “job” of care taking, while his partner went to work each day. (So much for hoping to get better from depression, anxiety and stress.. it just worsened.. big time)

I had heard keeping a diary or journal might help get feelings out and easier to cope with, but no matter how I tried I couldn’t write about it. Each time I tried it just depressed me more knowing I had no way out except when my brother may die, and I didn’t want to think of that.
One day, for no particular reason except to try to “escape” mentally, I decided to write a little story. It had been suggested to me from a few others I chatted with in IM occasionally. I don’t know what made me start it but I did. Thru about a dozen calls a day to go downstairs to get my brother water, something to eat, or get something he wanted I began to write. It took me 2 yrs to write my “little story” that turned out to be a sort of trilogy (approx. 700 pgs.). Fantasy/ fiction.

I found I had created characters, given them personalities and a journey of their own they I could escape to. Once I began, I think I kept going because it was something I could control, where I couldn’t control my own life, or my brothers, I could control my characters. I could make them happy or sad, I could make them meet challenges and win or loose, depending on what “I” wanted. Quickly I fell in love with my “creations”, I couldn’t let them go. I wanted to be with them more then I wanted anything in my real life. So I wrote.. more, until I had “created my trilogy”. But it didn’t end there, I “edited” my books several times.. until one day I thought, If I do this again I’m going to get to the point I’ll ruin it. And so I stopped.

Missing them, I turned to Paint Shop Pro and tried my hand at drawing some of the characters I had created. Once again.. remember, I only went to HS, and so I never had art lessons (or computer lessons for that matter!) I dinked around and “sorta” said to myself that they weren’t too awful, since I have seen other art in books where the “author” drew their own drawings, and they weren’t anything to write home about.. so mine were as good as that anyway! LoL. Then I tried my hand at creating the cover for the first book. Psp5 was becoming my new companion to escape.

Although I know I am not a “writer”.. the question still drove me to answer it, because someone else may have reasons like mine.. to escape, to create, to control. I will never get “published” or “paid” for my writing, but even now I can’t let it go.

“I wondered if there was something special that I must do that I had not done before, but I had to do nothing but be there for her. How simple a task, yet she never found it anywhere else.”


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