A Week from Hell

18 November 2005

As most aol journalers know.. it hasn't been the best of weeks around here.

Unfortunately all this did was get to me more than normal since my brother has been in the hospital and I was already upset to begin with.

I still don't even know if I will keep this new area for my journal or not. I've been too busy running to the hospital and in between visits there I've backed up my entire "other" journal, which took a loooooong time and effort, then I went around to the journals that I frequent and collected new address of those that are in better shape then me because they have made their decision on what they want to do.

That took took a long time but i have compiled a list so at least i can visit my favorite journals without too much trouble. Listening to others i opened a new journal at blogspot. It's nice.. very pretty, but as for any possible move, I don't feel comfortable here yet.

Then in one comment I read that this version of the aol journal was available and didn't have the "banner" across the top. So.. as you see, I'm trying this out also. it does feel more like home since it "looks" the same as what i had, minus the banner.

But being depressed most of the time, it only makes me wonder if i work hard to bring my journal all over here, will AOL then turn around and add the banner here?? To many the banner thing seems "trivial".. and possibly it is.

I just know I am tired of having things forced on me. For years i kept aol version 6.. no banners to be seen on my buddy list, email or anywhere that was 'personal".. when i got my new computer.. whammo.. ads on my email box. Animated no less, so they are impossible to avoid. I had long ago already cancelled a program i enjoyed called ICQ. When aol bought it out they "upgraded" it and made sure you HAD totake it by turning off all other versions. It came with blinking ads all over it... i deleted a much enjoyed program. I just couldn't enjoy it with all the movement around me.

So this "new banner" is just like something else I can't do anything about.. except "leave".. i know big businesses don't care.. i know they are in business to make money. I know they won't remove the banner. I do wish they cared about their customers though. It would be nice to think you are giving money to someone who you admire because they care.

I see where they could care enough to put a hide button by the banner or allow their long time customers to choose which version of the journal they want.. like the version without banners... and then only offer the "new version" to new people wanting to journal. That way they know what they are getting right from the beginning. But i doubt they care at all and so won't do that.

I wonder why i stay with aol.. well.. i do know they are probably the best at keeping my machine from getting a virus or spam , which is also important to an old lady who is NOT a tech and so does not want to have to pay someone to get her up and running after such an attack occurs. In essence I pay for "service".. which i am ok with.

I just can't help wishing they cared about "keeping customers" as much as wanting new ones to join. I'm very down.

Too much for me to keep on top of and make a decision on what to do.. aol problems, my brother in the hospital problems, and my own with depression, anxioty and stress.. not a good combination. I already envy those who so simply made their choice to go or stay..

One thing at least, I learned to back up each journal page as I go along now so that I won't have to do that again! sigh..

what to do? what to do?..

All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.