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Location: Vero Beach, Florida, United States

My name is Pat and I live in Florida. My skin will never be smooth again and my hair will never see color. I enjoy collecting autographs and playing in Paint Shop Pro.,along with reading and writing. Sometimes, I enjoy myself by doing volunteer "work" helping celebrities at autograph shows. I love animals and at one time I did volunteer work for Tippi Hedren's Shambala Preserve.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

I'm glad tomorrow's Friday

It must be something with the moon.......

I thought I was the only one having the depression blahs or whatever one calls it when nothing seems to matter and you feel like doing... "nothing". Not even writing a decent post for the journal.

It feels like I am waiting for "it" (whatever "it" is, be it one or many things) to be over so I can resume whatever seems normal again.

I know there's much going on here right now.. my brother will be coming home from rehab on monday. The hospital bed and "goodies" are due to be delivered tomorrow. A dear friend of my brother's died suddenly and we have to tell him tonight. And I'm nervous about him coming home. I'm scared he will try to walk what little he can and fall and I can't "catch" 250 lbs without , more then likely hurting myself. I'm also dreading hearing my name called many times a day to come and get him this or that, or make him something to eat, get me water, get me ice, get my paints, put them away, more ice, more water, etc it goes on and on... (never having a secured "time" for myself) I feel like sh*t because I feel guilty that I have these selfish thoughts. I feel drained, abused, and tired... it sorta makes it hard to think happy thoughts or enjoy small things anymore.

So..... my mood has not been the best. Depression resides here at the moment. But I keep waking up and plugging along. I find I'm thankful for meme's that come by and the round robin and feline fridays so I have things to say without having to think much, orcomplaining or feeling sorry for myself.

I have a photo for feline friday tomorrow!.. whew! And I know what my round robin is for next week! (double whew!) I have some more animations I did to post for Halloween (thank goodnes!)

I just need some time to pass, and to feel a rountine again... then I can blindly do it repeatedly until the next crisis ....

1 Comments:

Blogger Barb said...

Thanks for dropping by today! I got my links back up but forgot yours =( I'll get it there tomorrow!!!

10:47 PM  

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