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Location: Vero Beach, Florida, United States

My name is Pat and I live in Florida. My skin will never be smooth again and my hair will never see color. I enjoy collecting autographs and playing in Paint Shop Pro.,along with reading and writing. Sometimes, I enjoy myself by doing volunteer "work" helping celebrities at autograph shows. I love animals and at one time I did volunteer work for Tippi Hedren's Shambala Preserve.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Usually, Friday is a good day..

Friday, October 14, 200511:58:00 AM EDT
Feeling Frustrated
GET ME OUTTA HERE! 8 straight days of rain, and Noooooooooo, i cannot tred water!

Yesterday i answered a question that
http://journals.aol.com/aurielalata/CIWTheOtherInvisible#Entry583 had put out about writing. I found it interesting enough to try to respond to even though I'm not a "hopeful author." Well, not like some I know, or even some that i know are published authors who tell me that unless you happen to write a "best seller" you will never become rich enough to pay your bills with writing. And this was from a published author of a number of Star Trek Novels! (all of which sold very well i might add). She is also the one that told me that unless you "burn" to write don't even bother to try to get something published. That one i took to heart, since i don't "burn to write", but rather have just gotten myself so involved in the one thing i did write that i still can't just "let it go" as something that happened.

I find i constantly question myself about it.. where did it come from? (i sure didn't know i had it in me to write for two years and create characters.. and yaddada yaddada) A few friends read what i wrote "as i wrote it", typo's and all and would anxiously await another chapter. Part of me began to write it for them.. however, thankfully no "suggestions" came from them and they let me write only what "I" wanted. Nicely they would "review" as i wrote and just tell me what they liked or disliked, not a word about what they wanted or expected.

The whole consept of "me" writing a story still amazes me. I came up with a simple idea.. a beginning and an end, and then began to write.. but where did all that stuff in between come from?? Especially, when i thought i was going in one direction and would find myself headed somewhere else because of something i had written that i never expected to even write! So, i still wonder.. where did it come from?

A mention of the site ofthe original question was also about "hearing voices" while you write. Oh yeah! that came pretty quick! As soon as I would nail down a characters personality I would hear a voice that fit the character. Re: a character i call Abbercorn became the voice of Roy Dotrice. (Maybe you remember him? He played the character of "Father" on the tv series of Beauty and the Beast, starring Ron Perlman.) Other characters voices followed and each time there was dialogue i heard the voices.

Occasionally, I look into "printing on demand" or "printing your own book" type thing as I have dreams of leaving the "books" to my son when i die as a part of "mom, that he never knew". I can invision him reading them and maybe even discovering something about his mother that he never realized was there.

I already know i will never try the "try to get it published" route. I am not one who can take anymore rejections, that I or what i did is not good enough. I've had my quota of that in my life already, which is how I got in the condition I am in now. (depression/ anxioty/ stress) The bulk (that should have been in caps!) was from the people i worked for in California, who decided to try to get me to quit my job because i voiced my opinion that i liked the job of being a receptionist and had no real interest in learning how to make insurance quotes. For 3 yrs. i cried before i went to work. No more can i put myself out there for someone to say yet again that i'm not good enough. Though I think it of myself everyday of my life. Oh well, that's my problem not yours.

I still have "thoughts" of continuing my writing "saga".. have an idea and a beginning, but don't know where i want it to go.. so it sits and waits for the light bulb moment when i figure that part out haha.

Meanwhile if anyone comes by this journal and they've read "Runes of the Earth" by Stephen R Donaldson I would love to hear what you thought of it, and did you read his other books on Thomas Covenant? The new book was one I knew i wanted to like but was thinking I wouldn't because the main character had died. But Mr. Donaldson managed to pull me into his world yet one more time! Now, waiting for the other two books to come out is hard, hard, hard on this old lady. I just hope i live long enough to read the final book!! (he's allowed nearly 3 yrs to come out with each book..totally 6 argh!!!!!!!!)


My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?



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